Some days being a Mamma is harder than others.
Skye currently has 5 (yes 5!) teeth in various stages of coming in. She woke up at 3:45 am miserable and it took me almost three hours to get her back to sleep. Even then, the only way I was able to accomplish this was by laying down with her in my bed. Since she’s mobile, that means that I was stuck in the master bedroom until she woke up.
Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem. My computer is in the master and I have an iPad. I have gotten used to her getting up early and am naturally an early riser myself, so getting up for the day at 3:45 really isn’t a big deal.
The problem was that today is Saturday and Saturday mornings are kind of a special time with the boys. We always enjoyed a little TV (which isn’t something we do every day), snuggles and a slower pace than our normal week day routine.
The look on their faces when they came in the room and saw that Skye was asleep in the middle of the bed and our morning wouldn’t be happening just about killed me.
Lately I’ve been all to aware of how hard the transition to having a baby in the house has been for them.
They haven’t complained. Not once.
Yet most days, it still feels like their just isn’t enough mom to go around. It’s hard, isn’t it? That mommy guilt that starts the moment they are born and never quite seems to go away.
These days, it often feels like Skye gets all of me and everyone else gets the leftovers. I keep trying to strike that balance, to get back to a place with the boys that resembles the way things are before she was born.
When Skye did wake up I went downstairs and got the boys. They were so excited to see her. As always, they showered her with hugs and kisses and talked about how wonderful she was. The four of us ended up watching a movie, albeit a bit later than normal.
That was when I realized that though things may have not been perfect for them for the last 10 months, I’d given them far more than was taken away. They now have someone new in their life that is and will continue to be a source of of joy – someone that they love with all of their heart.
Things will never be like they were before…and that’s ok. They will be better and richer.
I’m not going to say that having a baby at 42 has been easy. The adjustment back to having a little one was especially hard because I’m so used to the boys self sufficiency.
But I wouldn’t change a thing. (Except for maybe her sleep habits! :))
You know what keeps me going on those days where I don’t get lots of sleep? Caffeine!
(Kidding – I always stop at two cups of coffee.)
Actually, it’s a great big salad. I try to have one every day for lunch or dinner. This dressing is one I’m loving these days – hope you love it as much as I do.
Serving size: 1/8 Recipe
- 1 head garlic, separated but unpeeled
- 1 ½ lbs sweet onion, peeled and sliced thick
- ½ cup extra virgin olive oil
- ½ cup apple cider vinegar
- ¼ cup red wine vinegar
- 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
- 2 teaspoons maple syrup
- 1 teaspoon sea salt
- ½ teaspoon fresh ground pepper
- 12 ounces mixed greens
- 2 cups shredded cooked chicken or tempeh
- 1 cup thawed frozen corn
- 1 red pepper, seeded and diced
- 1 cup grape tomatoes, halved
- 1 cup alfalfa sprouts
- 4 ounces crumbled blue cheese
- 1 avocado, peeled and diced
- Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Place garlic in foil. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and add onions. Spray well with olive oil spray. Place garlic and onions in oven and cook for 1 hour or until onions are charred. Allow to cool. Peel garlic and place garlic and onions in a food processor. Add olive oil, vinegars, maple syrup, mustard, salt and pepper. Process until smooth.
- Meanwhile, combine greens, chicken or tempeh, corn, pepper, tomatoes and sprouts in a large bowl. Toss with desired amount of dressing (I used about ½ cup) and top with blue cheese and avocado. Dressing will keep for up to 5 days in a sealed jar in the refrigerator.